Alleged Appraisal Putdowns

• Not recommended for use of course-rather to illustrate how not to do it.
• Takes him two hours to watch sixty minutes.
• If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans..."
• If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you would get change...
• If he were any more stupid he'd have to be watered twice a week.
• Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
• Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
• Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
• A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
• If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
• He brings joy whenever he leaves the room.
• He has a knack for making strangers immediately.
• He would argue with a signpost.
• He's been working with glue too much.
• I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
• He doesn't have ulcers but he's a carrier.
• Got a full sixpack but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
• His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
• This person has delusions of adequacy.
• Since my last report has reached rockbottom, and has started to dig.
• Sets low standards and consistently fails to achieve them.
• Has the wisdome of youth and the energy of old age.
• Works well under constant supervision and when cornere like a rat in a trap.
• You are on the crest of a slump.
• The lights are on but nobody's at home.
• The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.